Have you ever noticed that the self help industry, is all about creating more? There are countless books out there telling us we can have it all. The ten steps to having the body you want. How to create more wealth. How to have the loving relationship you always wanted but were never able to create. How to have it all. Ten easy steps. It’s almost as if who we are in this moment is somehow deficient. The self help industry seems to prey on our inherent belief that we are not enough. Just think of what effect that has.It sets us up for the when then game which goes like this. When I make more money then I’ll be enough. When I lose ten pounds then I’ll be worthy. When I find a mate then I’ll be happy. What if we were enough now, as we are. What if we could say enough. I am enough now. This doesn’t mean we can’t strive to achieve more in life but what I’m saying is, what if we could start by accepting who we are now, in this moment? How would we feel about ourselves? How much energy could be freed by stopping the incessant negative tape in our head that says we’re not enough. The truth is, we are who we are in this moment and will always be who we are in any moment. That’s the reality. Our beliefs about that reality can either work for us or against us. They either put us in lack or in abundance. Most of us can find something about our life or our life situation that we don’t like, that we want to change or that we wished was different, and that can be such a source of unnecessary stress for us. It can even turn to self hatred, and that carries with it all kinds of negative consequences. I remember this girl that came to see me who was struggling with her weight. She said that it was a constant source of pain for her. She had tried all kinds of diets and nothing seemed to work or to last any longer than a few months. She inevitably regained the weight which eroded the little self confidence she still had. I asked her how she treated herself when she thought about her weight. At that point she began to cry as she told me how she severely berated herself. ” I’m too fat. I hate myself. I can’t stand how I look. I have no will power, etcetera.” When I asked her how she felt when she berated herself. She simply said “terrible” and then what do you do when you feel so terrible I asked? She said that she would go to the fridge and get something to eat. When I asked her if she could just accept herself the way she was she immediately responded with an emphatic no. She said she was afraid if she accepted her current weight that would mean she’d never ever lose the weight.” Oh, I said, so you’re trying to control your weight by being violent towards yourself. That only makes you feel “terrible” and then you eat some more. What if you could love and accept yourself as you are now? How do you think you would feel?” She said she wasn’t sure but said she’d probably feel more relaxed and at peace with herself. When I asked her if she felt more or less likely to want to eat something from a place of peace within herself she said “Less” I believe all real change comes from accepting who we are in this moment. From a place of love.